


There's a Hole In My Heart That Can Only Be Filled By You

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Abduction, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Politics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Careers Have Issues, Choices, Dubious Ethics, Family Reunions, Hopeful Ending, Multi, Self-Reflection, jinnobi challenge 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 07:52:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16384178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: Sequel to "We're the Same, Only Different By Name"Obi-Wan has been having nightmares or visions about Qui-Gon  being snatched aaway by Dooku, something he feels he has to stop. Despite the dismissal of others, it comes to pass.Qui-Gon, now in Dooku's clutches, learns the truth of his expulsion from the Order and now must decide whether to join his former Master, or stay true to Obi-Wan and most importantly, himself despite it all.Bereft, Obi-Wan has to find Qui-Gon  while the latter struggles with his choice, making it a race against time as to what he will choose and if Obi-Wan will get to him first.





	There's a Hole In My Heart That Can Only Be Filled By You

**Author's Note:**

> So this one came about because I had a plan as to finally unite them and make it stick, so to speak, since Obi-Wan is still in the Order. It was originally going to be a one shot, but I got curious as to the end and this was written. It may be able to stand alone, but reading the other story is recommended.
> 
> The story which can be found [Here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337078)
> 
> Title is still from the Kaiser Chief's "Hole in My Heart."

_ Obi-Wan found himself kneeling on the marble-tiled floor, his hand dropping heavily to his side as he watched Qui-Gon be torn away from him.  _

_ They were taken by surprise, here on Alderaan. No one had expected Dooku to come and ambush them, taking Qui-Gon as easily as breathing.  _

_ One moment Qui-Gon had been in the gardens, the next he had been hit from behind and scooped up as if he was nothing more than a slight maiden.  _

_ He could see Qui-Gon’s pale face, a bruise blooming darkly at his temple as Dooku sneered at Obi-Wan before turning away and taking Qui-Gon with him. _

_ Obi-Wan ran, but he couldn’t go to him.  _

_ Not when he had his duty to keep Queen Breha and Bail and the children safe.  _

_ Not when he had Tahl to keep safe.  _

_ Not when he was a Jedi. _

_ He had to watch as the love of his life and the dam of his children was ripped away.  _

_ He screamed, reaching out with the Force to grab him back, but it had no effect.  _

_ Qui-Gon was torn away from him and he was left kneeling, with Tahl beside him and- _

He sat up, the scream caught in his throat and his skin clammy with sweat. He turned, trying to ground himself and get out of the grip of his nightmare.  His breathing was still fast, slowing down only when he saw Qui-Gon lying next to him, unharmed and deeply asleep. 

He was safe. He was here and no one had taken Qui-Gon from him.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, reaching out to check on Tahl, who was also asleep, and then the children. Once he saw their signatures, a blend of his blue and Qui-Gon’s green that he finally relaxed. It was a dream. Just a dream. 

He couldn’t help but to roll over and kiss Qui-Gon’s shoulder lightly and inhale the scent of Sapir and Bergamot that clung to him and the letters that he sent to Obi-Wan. He had memorised the scent and it was that and the tangible feel under his lips and hands that completed the grounding and he was able to start leaving his fears behind.

Yet as he slipped out of the bed, he couldn’t help but to wonder if he was simply dismissing it out of hand. He did have visions. He had seen things that had helped with the Order not intertwine itself so strongly with the Republic. 

He’d asked the Council to keep the new initiate they’d found on Tatooine as a possible padawan for him and to keep a close eye on him after he had haltingly explained the red wash of horror that would sweep them away otherwise. 

They hadn’t been willing to listen until Anakin and Tahl had corroborated the same vision, the boy terrified of the future and the old man with yellow eyes. Shaak Ti and Adi Galla had acted then, spending more time with the boy and running subtle interference between anyone that would take an interest in him. 

Maybe it wasn’t what he would have done, but it worked with Anakin, who was soaked up the attention that the two women gave him. 

In no time, he was already catching up to and fitting in much better with his peers, something that warmed Obi-Wan’s heart whenever he thought about it and checked on the child. 

It kept him occupied and not missing Qui-Gon.

And not dwelling on the fact that he wasn’t with him or his family. Or dwelling on the nightmares or visions of Count Dooku taking Qui-Gon away. 

He had told Tahl about his dreams. She had listened intently before she had made a carefully worded reassurance.

“Queen Breha and Bail have the best security around. They will make sure nothing happens to Qui-Gon or the children. And even Qui-Gon himself has gone off world ever since they were born, Bail tells me. They will be safe here.”

Tahl had tried her best to soothe him, but he couldn’t quite let the idea that Qui-Gon and the children needed his protection go. 

He shook his head and went to the fresher to splash water on his face and try to rein in his turbulent emotions. 

They had been in Alderaan for the better part of a month and had silently thanked Tahl for finding one thing or another in negotiations to draw out their assignment so that he’d have more time with his family, but also to think deeply on the decision he would need to undertake. 

Obi-Wan decided to strip and take a cold shower, hoping that the cold water would wake him up and sluice the sweat and feelings of dread away and let him think clearly. 

No one outside of Alderaan knew of the children. Qui-Gon had been careful about keeping them hidden. 

Their colouring was a softer version of his, muted auburns and dark grey or blue eyes with Qui-Gon’s shape. His features, but at a smaller scale. All boys and yet still too early to tell whether they would take after him or Qui-Gon. 

They could have been anyone’s children, barring the trilling and purring that they had inherited from him and Qui-Gon. But that was seldom shown. Just like their Force powers. Qui-Gon had also taken pains to shield them and train them. 

They may have been young, but they were adept in ways that made Obi-Wan proud and sad at the same time. 

He hated that he had missed so much of their lives! He should have been there, instead of out in the galaxy and even though he had made his deal, he still laid awake some nights, wondering if it had been for the best. 

Especially with the visions and the feeling that there was more than just bad luck and biology behind Qui-Gon’s expulsion. 

He had seen the way that Adi Galla and Deepa Bilaba had looked at each other whenever he and Master Tahl had come to make their mission reports. It was all done to the letter and quite perfunctorily. Almost rote in the repetition.

Master Tahl had never told him why it was necessary to do so, but Obi-Wan could read between the lines. 

He was all too aware that he was under the lens even more so than any other apprentice. One wrong move and he could easily be out the door, something he still wasn’t sure that he would be utterly heartbroken over, despite his promise to fulfill his training and the smaller part of him wanting to fulfill that goal. 

He had followed her lead, the chafing eased when she relied on him like a partner in the field. They had worked, but there was always something just slightly off that made him quietly grieve for what he had lost with Qui-Gon. If only…

He shook his head, stepped out of the shower, and scrubbed himself dry before slipping on his robe. He held it closed with one hand as he walked to the bed and found Qui-Gon awake, a small frown marring his face.

“Was it the dreams again?”

He whispered, sitting up to receive Obi-Wan, who climbed into his embrace gratefully.

“Hmmm. I can’t help but to worry. Even though I know you and the children are safe here...I can’t help but to think the worst. I’ve been proven right before. With Anakin and the Senate’s Army. What if I am right about this also?”

Obi-Wan asked softly, prompting Qui-Gon to pull him into a tighter embrace and purr to calm him. 

They had so little time left and the last thing that he wanted was to have his mate upset and fretting over a future that had yet to pass. 

“The future is always in flux. You’ve said it yourself. Even by telling me. By telling Tahl, it could change it. It may happen and you can prevent it. Or it may not.”

Qui-Gon replied, his long fingers combing out the wet tangles in Obi-Wan’s hair. 

“And if it does?”

Obi-Wan found himself whimpering, tightening his grip on Qui-Gon.

“We will figure it out somehow. We always do.”

Obi-Wan exhaled the anxiety that was building up in him and relaxed into Qui-Gon’s grip, lying there soaking up the comfort and proximity of his mate.

It was so perfect that he let himself relax and simply enjoy it for what it was.

~*~*~*~*~

“Is that your final answer, apprentice of mine?”

Dooku asked as bruised and battered Qui-Gon as he sat shackled to the opulent bed that was part of the cell that he had been unceremoniously shoved into. 

Qui-Gon snorted. 

“Why would I say yes to your offer to destroy the Republic and the Order along with it?”

Qui-Gon asked curiously. 

Dooku looked at him flatly. 

“Surely, you, out of all people, would want to see the Order and Republic that disposed of you as so much rubbish due to your not blindly adhering to their every whim?”

Qui-Gon’s jaw clenched at that, but he refused to give Dooku the satisfaction. 

“As much as I despise what happened, I broke the Code of the Order. They had a right to order my expulsion, no matter what I think or feel about the matter.”

Dooku smiled. That cold, dark smile that made Qui-Gon uneasy whenever it appeared, which was thankfully seldom. 

“They set you up to break the Code by using your biology. Surely you can’t believe that they sent you there without warning and no knowledge of what would happen to you in Wild Space. I taught you better than that, the brightest of your generation.”

Qui-Gon’s mouth went dry at that. He had suspected it, but hadn’t had concrete evidence of it. Once his pregnancy made itself known, he had pushed it away as pointless. But now, with Dooku spitting out bald truths about the Republic and the corruption, he couldn’t dismiss his suspicions. Not anymore.

His eyes widened and Dooku grinned as he saw the pieces slot together in Qui-Gon’s mind. 

He was right about him being the cleverest of his generation. Even Tahl hadn’t clicked in at once with the clues in front of her. 

“They knew I would come to talk to you. To reason with you and find the flaws and cracks in their logic and take you with me.”

Qui-Gon shook his head, making Dooku laugh. 

“I know you wouldn’t have then. But they didn’t trust you. Didn’t have faith in you and sacrificed you on top of that. Now do you still believe in the sanctity and purity of the Order that set you up?”

~*~*~*~*~

Tahl and Obi-Wan stood in stunned silence in Queen Breha’s private solar, his hands still shaking as he tried to come down from the adrenaline from earlier. 

Tahl scratched at the bacta bandage at her hairline, her hand wrapped in bacta and bandages from the saber burn that Dooku slashed across the palm of her hand in the earlier skirmish.

“We have to go, Tahl. You know we have to.”

Obi-Wan stated flatly. Tahl pursed her lips at that, but was cut off from replying when the Queen and her husband entered the room.

“Your children are asleep. One of my handmaids are with them. Obi-Wan, anything you need will be at your disposal.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “Thank you. How soon can it be ready?”

“Obi-Wan, you know we can’t. Not without authorisation from the Council and nothing has been forthcoming.”

Obi-Wan snarled at that.

“Breha will give me a ship. I know where he is. I don’t give a kriffing damn about anything that the Council says. I am going after my mate!”

Obi-Wan stated, his voice forceful and wavering slightly as he stood in front of the Queen, her husband, and his Master.

Tahl crossed her arms and looked away at his declaration. 

“You know we can’t go off like that, Obi-Wan. No matter what we feel, we can’t just go off into an unauthorised mission. Jedi aren’t mercenaries!”

Obi-Wan paced in a tightly controlled circle.

“This isn’t a personal mission, Tahl. This is me rescuing an Advisor for the Alderaanian Kingdom. Something that the Queen and Senator Organa authorise.”

Tahl’s striped eyes widened as she turned to look at the Queen and her husband.

Queen Breha and her husband both nodded.

“Jinn may not be respected in your Order, but he is respected in my court. And I refuse to have a member of my court kidnapped under my nose and quite possibly killed.”

Tahl stepped back. 

“Your Majesty, are you requesting our aid in this matter?”

Queen Breha looked at her husband and nodded. 

“If it makes it easier for the Council to swallow, then yes. I refuse to let your children lose their mother and I lose an advisor simply due to protocol.”

Tahl sighed. 

“Let’s go.”

~*~*~*~*~

“What is your choice now?”

Dooku asked a silent and withdrawn Qui-Gon as they stood in the foyer of his home in Serennos.

Qui-Gon gave him a sidelong glance, but didn’t reply to his former Master. 

Despite the distance of years, he knew all of Dooku’s tells and he was impatient to get an answer, as well as an undercurrent of... _ fear _ buried deep within the impatience. 

“Qui-Gon, there are many changes coming to the galaxy and whether you like it or not, you will need to make a decision as to where you will stand. I am a patient man, but I do have my limits, as you well know.”

Qui-Gon smiled thinly. He was all too aware of Dooku’s limits. Yet he tested them for all he was worth.

Yet despite the old familiarity, he couldn’t find it in him to play the part like he was supposed to.

The brutal truth of what the Council had done to him had broken him in ways that he didn’t think possible. He had honestly thought that he had grieved the loss of his vocation and had pushed the old hurt aside when his children had been born and Obi-Wan had become his mate. 

He believed it. Yet when faced with the truth of the matter, he found that the wound had easily gaped open and that not even the comfort of family was enough to even begin to heal it.

Dooku’s offer  _ was  _ seductive. More than he cared to admit. He had seen and heard first hand the cracks in the Republic and Jedi Council. He had given his input to slow down the decay when stopping it outright wasn’t an option and had been satisfied to be of aid even without a sabre hanging at his belt.

It had helped him to do even just that. 

He had heard all of Dooku’s arguments and had to acknowledge the kernel of truth in them. 

_ “They betrayed you also. Why not help them be destroyed and replaced with something simpler and better, with no ridiculous code to stifle growth and change?” _

The thought came from the wounded part of him and it made sense to him at that time. He was only human. He had been hurt and wanted closure whichever way he could get it and if this was the only way, he’d-

_ “It’s not the only way, love. Don’t let him twist you into thinking that.” _

Qui-Gon’s eyes widened as he turned away from Dooku, leaving his former master to grab at him.

“This is the last time I make this offer.”

Qui-Gon pulled away from him, shaking his head.

“Then I reject it.”

It was all those years of living together and being trained together that gave him the hint of what Dooku would do next.

A slight shift of his feet and his hand moving upwards were all the warning he got to jump back and shoot. 

It was deflected, of course. 

It didn’t stop him from shooting again and again as he leapt back, dodging and twisting the red blade that Qui-Gon had known should have been green. It caught him a few sides, stripes that burnt the fine tunic he had been given and marking him for life if he lived past this. 

He stifled his pain and kept shooting, drawing him away from the foyer and into the sitting room, where he could feel Obi-Wan and Tahl’s presences. 

Dooku noticed them at the same time, his mouth twisting into a grimace when he realised the connection between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.

“And yet you say no.”

He ground out, pushing ahead, boxing Qui-Gon in so that he wouldn’t be able to get in a decent shot. 

“Yet I say no.”

Qui-Gon agreed, shooting with as much speed and accuracy as he could muster.

Dooku deflected most, but there were still a few that made their mark, buying him time to move back and to have Tahl and Obi-Wan move in tandem behind him. Obi-Wan drawing him into a duel and Tahl to jump above him in a graceful arc and shove a vibranium bolt in his face, dropping him like a pile of rocks.

Qui-Gon kicked at the corpse to make sure he was dead before turning to Tahl and Obi-Wan, the latter of which embraced him tightly, holding Qui-Gon as his knees nearly gave out.

“Did you know any of it? How they betrayed me?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, his face a study in shock as it dawned on him what Qui-Gon meant.

“They set you up in Wild Space?”

He whispered brokenly.

“They did.”

Tahl admitted grimly as Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon turned to look at her as she stuffed the datachips into her belt. 

“I will explain in due time. Right now, we have to go.”

~*~*~*~*~

Obi-Wan surprised him as he sat with the children, all three of them asleep as they leaned or sat in Qui-Gon’s arms. 

His back stiffened the moment that he entered the room and there was only the slightest dip of the head to acknowledge that Qui-Gon was aware of him in the room.

“She told me everything before she went to your ship.”

Qui-Gon turned to look at him, the remoteness not one of anger, but of hurt.

“I didn’t know.”

Obi-Wan explained as he sat down next to Qui-Gon, looking at him straight in the eyes. 

“I know. For what it’s worth, I never assumed it of you.”

Obi-Wan nodded, swallowing thickly.

Qui-Gon smiled gently.

“You should go. Tahl wanted to get going as soon as possible. You don’t want to miss your transport.”

Obi-Wan grinned ruefully.

“Tahl left an hour ago. I decided to stay behind with who mattered.”

Qui-Gon’s face went pale at this proclamation. Two pink spots appeared high on his cheekbones at Obi-Wan’s words.

Before he could protest, Obi-Wan kissed him, softly and deeply, making him believe in what he had just said and done.

He was staying with him and that was all.


End file.
